In the last few years I've been told a lot about ego, more specifically my ego. Not my ego as in an arrogance, although I do often see things and feel I can do it better than the person I'm seeing, but even greater on the side of doubt.
I recently did what's called a Venus Mahadasha reading and this was by far the most inspiring and encouraging practice I've ever done. The gentleman that did my reading gave an emphasis to my ego. But this time it was paired with a stair piercing my eyes of "You better not get so big headed", but it acknowledged me being fearful. That my doubts to myself although from the outside seen as me doing such a great job of something, was great timidness inside that often and may have stopped me from making the commitment and pushes that could've got me over my hump.
He used the phrase "The universe has to trust you to have it" and that stood out to me so much. He told me my last project failed because the universe didn't trust me because I was in my ego. As soon as he said that I opened right back up to him about the doubts and fears I had because all the I was investing into it wasn't giving enough back to feel confident that the project would do well.
This was described on what's known as our animal totem by a monkey. A monkey known to get distracted, to be critical, and to find itself deep its own shadows (mind) and hiding its talents from the world. Which was a challenge I faced even if with two of my other animals (lion and elephant) representing leadership, mysticism, power, purity, honesty, and self-expression. He emphasized my balance is not of doing bad to bring balance; which many misconstrue when I hear the word, but a balance as in holding my confidence with whatever action I take. The balance in harmony.
I admitted to dimming my light for others. To reserving my talents from fear of how others would perceive me. Which he rebutted affirming me that I am of power and abilities greater than the average can see. That it's never about me being "better" than but at my fullest because I possess it. He gave me this phrase to use: "Let me express my gift." That when acting it is not and never to be of self-focus, but confidently expressing my gift.
There were many other facets of this reading and boy did I walk away with answers and joy. All in all, my message to you is balance your confidence. As cliche as it is, we must earn the universe trust. The universe will reward and continue to reward confidence. Remember to allow the universe to do its job of humbling and balancing on that end, your job is to be as confident as you can.
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